Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
