i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
