im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
