My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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