He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
