i think my tv is drunk
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
