turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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