I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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