I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
