Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
