Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
