I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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