whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
