Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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