Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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