she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
