I need to stop coming to work sober
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
