FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize