She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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