You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
