He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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