She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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