Taylor Swift is so right about you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
