good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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