that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My bed smells like the plague
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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