I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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