Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
