This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
