So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
