if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
