Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
