1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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