belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
