Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
