That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm always down for nudity.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
