I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize