I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
