Christians are straight up FREAKS
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
bring money and cleavage
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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