I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
