You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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