no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
