My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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