He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
