we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
