they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
