I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
