is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She needs sedatives and a leash
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
