I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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