So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
