He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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