this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
