CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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