and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
