i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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