i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
