the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
