oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
