walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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