And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
did i walk over a car last night?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
