she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
