apparently the secret to your success is patron
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
