Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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