piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
