Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
