So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize