I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
