So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
