Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
