She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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