Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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