as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
