We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You can't motorboat a personality
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
