we're blogging at a bar
She's JV to your varsity
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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