have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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