So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
