I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
