Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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