alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
