He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
