remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
