two words...techno handjob
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Bring me that man meat
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
